sometimes i just forget

sunday was a strange day,,anne and keir,,colins sister and nephew went to visit,,he was amused with the tales of life in the gowan home and pleased to have them there,annes husband dougie has not been great but seems to be on the up,,thank goodness,,louise and james also popped in to see colin so he was a very popular guy this week.My brothers turned into pickfords,,well i couldnt move the units,,and they are men and so i called on their help,,what a relief,goodness knows what i would have done without them,so units moved,,ignoring dust,,i have help coming this week it is too horrendous to contemplate on my own,,i decided to head to straiton retail park,,not the best of ideas on a sunday but it had to be done.Im snowed under with work in the next few weeks and i want our new master suite to be finished,so i braved the crowds and headed in to my familiar haunts,laura ashley,tx max and dunelm to look at bedding.All good untill on the hunt for a mirror,,large over ornate thing to go in colins en suite,,never one to be subtle,,no the bigger and brasher the better,,i hummed and hawed,,was it too big,,would i be able to fit it in my mini,,probably not,,well id get Colin to pick it up,,,,and then it hit me,,my Colin ,my best friend and my man,,would never pick it up,,and i nearly had a nervous breakdown there and then,,ok so maybe not a nervous breakdown but i definatly wanted to scream,,its the silly things like that ,that bring you to your knees,,the normal things,,taking out the buckets,paying the bills ,,seeing couples in ,marks and spencers,,seeing couples going off on holiday,,thats when you know your life has changed..anyway think i will go back tomorrow and buy that bloody mirror and drag it into the car and everytime i look at it i will thank god that colin is still here and also probably curse him every sunday night as i drag those darn buckets out,,oh well im only human after all ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,