shit shit shit

I just knew it,,i knew he wasnt well but i didnt expect this,,Colin has a mark,,the worst possible thing to happen,,it looks like a burn you might get with an iron about 2 inches long,he was in bed when we arrived and my heart just sank,,you dont want to hear those words,,he has a mark,,it may fade,,the best possible result,,or it may blister and the skin breakdown,,that you dont want.This can set you back from anything from 2 days to weeks to months,,you just dont know,,you just have to keep the pressure of and wait and hope,Colin is in a lot of pain,,more due to the akward position he is in.I am freaking out,,i tried to help make him more comfortable,,he needs me to adjust his leg position,,but i can hardly move them,,i want to run away,,I cant do this,,twice in the hours between 1 and 8 when we left he had to be turned,,the first took 2 nurses,,and the second 3,,what will i do at home when there is only the two of,,this can not be done,, the reality of home,,my version the walton family one,,Colin and i in the garden sun shining,,not too hot,,pot of earl grey,,homemade scones and jam,,colin reading the times,,me the tatler,,and then the reality me in foetal position rocking back and forward,,colin deterioating by the second due to lack of care from me,,so suddenly the waltons becomes the chain saw massacre,,,,ok im tired depressed and prone to exageration,,but somewhere in the middle would work,,ok so i cant bake scones,,i hate earl grey and the grass is so high i will have to rent a herd of sheep to find colin in it in the first place,,but im not too far of the mark,and apart from Colin being trying to mend this mark im sure hes lying there wondering how on earth we ,,no let me rephrase that,he will survive the return to Broomhilld farmhouse,,God bless us all x