shit shit shit and double shit

Colin not well at all today,I had dreaded going in,,louise and i headed west after my early shift,,it was not a bad shift,,volcanic ash and the cancellation of early flights saw to that.As we entered the ward i saw Colin had a visitor,,Johnathan from the edinburgh polo club,,who had many tales of the new season and all the goings on in the land of Jilly Cooper,,I was delighted to see him and he chatted on and brought me up to date.But i could see Colin was struggling his breath laboured he was flushed and obviously very uncomfortable,,i asked the nurses to do some tests,temp ect,,at this point Johnathan went off to battle his way east across rush hour m8 traffic,,Colins chest needed a nebuliser,,a turn was done,,but he was still not right,,at this point les and sandra arrived,,les having just been on a sailoing weekend was full of news and sailing stories but i knew colin could not concentrate,,les has known Colin for years and so seeing his distress did not stay long.More tests more turns more medication,,this was a tough day,,he never moans but i know,,he hates this,,he hates the fact his body is managed by so many people,but we need it,we need them and so life must go on,Louise and i were both crying as we left Colin in the unit,,i dont know if i was crying for me or Colin,,i am so tired and worried and lOUISE hates to see her dad so vunerable,,But tomorrow we will start all over again,,and the next day and the next.