beam me up scotty,,,,,,,,

Oh my goodness,,i have three men in my house all morning,,and they are still here,,why i hear you say,,well to install colins enviromental control system,,,noooooo,,they have a machine that gives him control,,,take it back i say,,under my breath of course,,these silly people think its a good idea if he can,answer the phone,,control telly,radio,dvd,ipod,lights ,doors,,,whose silly idea was that,,i have had control of the telly flicker thing for exactly 6 days,,6 days,,no,,my life will now be filled with top gear,the news,radio 4,,the eagles,,im too young for this,,im still a jeremy kyle sort of chick,,i do admit to listening to radio 2,,but a girl can only watch so many re runs of old spy movies ,top gear ect...this is mental torture,,i have only just found out how to work the record on the sky channel,,the year of the videos has been and gone and i still couldnt work that fandangled machine,,,is this fair...i know life isnt fair,,colin can now be seen cotroling my whole house by the flip of a finger,i seriously think at one stage he will demand we call him captain kirk of the star ship enterprise,,please god he doesnt expect me to dress up as lt.uhura,,,note to self,look out polyester mini dress,,,, and hide those large ears,,.....captains log 2010,humanoid female,looks as if showing emotion about box in corner of the room,,bones we need a diagnosis,,if she can not be controlled she will have to be exterminated,,,there again she may have her uses,,,,,BEAM ME UP SCOTTY..................................................

i am available for tour de france,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Sunday arrived,,day of rest,,well not in my house,,text arrived from bev,,she had just had to administer little orange pill,,mike was obviously having a stint of direflexia,,at this time i was administrating a nebuliser for our colin,,so with sir terry,janet and john,and love songs sunday was more or less normal.mike and ali came and went,,colin coiffured and organised looked forward to his day.Melissa no 2 child returned from a christening at the castle,,oh yes friends in high places,,and helped her daddy for most of the day organise his computer,study ect so he could anticipate returning to work,,thank you melissa i was on the verge of murder when you came back.I dont know which lead goes into which hole,and frankly i dont care,,,i have little time or patience with these new fandalged things,,if it doent work first time the call goes up,,,MELISSA I CANT DO THIS,,,and my melissa,angel that she is always knows what to do.So reorganising colins study was not first choice of the day,,no omnibus of eastenders was,,no chance,,Papa popped in a welcome diversion,,papa popped out,,no dont go please stay dont leave me with this mad man,,the man i dont recognise,the professional man,,place that there,that lead goes in that ,,that box thingy,,ok so i dont even remember what he said,,but i remember what i said,,MELISSA I CANT DO THIS.so the day went on,,seven brides for seven brothers,,20 min was watched..oh to live in that film,,where one wore what looked like quilts as skirts,,sat around all winter,singing and dancing and oohing and aaghing the snow from the window,,oh yes i could do that.Fancy a cup of tea,,so back to my world.rest of the day passed ,,,some chic flick you ask,,no no i reply.only fools and horses,again,, and heart beat,,who knew,,likes to spot the old cars seemingly,,my eyes glazed over.Michael and Ali arrived,,,night routine began,Colin had not been too comfortable today,,but that is to be expected at times,,so when ali came through and said his cushion had collapsed i too collapsed inside.As a spinal patient your cushion is the most importatnt thing in your life,,literaly,,colins is made up of pockets of air and they had deflated,leaving his skin compromised..panic ensued.Parts where red,noooooo...but not broken,,,,yesssssss...we may have gotten away with it,,we will not know till the morning,Most pressingly was the problem with the chair.Pump was found,,but where was the repair kit,,repair kit,,yes the small bag with some plaster sort of things,,very high tech,,vaguely remember them as something i did not recognise when sorting colins equipment,,hmm remember what is this ,,hmm no idea,,and flinging it on bucket pile.So where am i on a sunday night,watching that elusive chic flik,,no my friend i am in the bucket,,rummaging through last nights tea,,old tea bags,marks and spencers of course,,and worse,,no even in your wildest imagination you could not know.This was not the waltons,more like a scene from slumdog millionaire,,colin all snug in bed,me going through the regurgatation of the weeks life.YES ITS HERE I FOUND IT,,now what,i laughed at colins further instructions,,run bath emerge cushion in and then look for bubbles.So in my house ,,bubble bath ,for me no longer means an hour lying in froth with the prospect of my back being scrubbed,,no,,it means up to my elbows in cold water hoding down a slab of black rubber waiting for it to fart....and so it did,,and hole was found and spotted and the call of MELISSA I CANT DO THIS,,,went up,,where is douglas when i need him,,my very good friends husband who is a whizz at these things,,no i dont want to be a modern woman,,i want to be scarlet in gone with the wind,,i want to be helpless and have the vapours and say things like,,, what me rhett,,and ,,,I must go home to Tara,,cos tomorrow is another day,,,,,And so it is,,i can now get an air filled thing to fart,,helpfull on the tour de france,,and stick sticky things over the hole,,ok so Melissa did it but I watched,,and tomorrow is another day and life goes on,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

hi to orange

hi orange you know who you are,,just to say colin has survived the first few days,,im not as good having grown a massive abssess on my gum,,,think i will have to dip into colins pain killers,,life is different,,and busy,,and the first weekend in ten months i have not battles my way down the M8,so life goes on and we will survive,x

be careful you may get what you wish for...........

Well the lord and master is definatly home,,my house now resembles a cross between emergency ward ten and boots,,,are we loving it,,well he is,,no lets be fair he is realy loving it,,im on my knees,,why did i have this image,,waltons induced,,that colin and i would sit on our terrace,,ramp that can be seen from space..some classic music wafting to our ears,,skylarks and nightingales joining in the melody,,home made scones and jam,earl grey tea,,colin reading times,me the tatler,,me in floaty white no from boden,,colin in ralph lauren,,oh for goodness sake someone slap me,,oh boy have i been hoodwinked,,this it will be better when he gets home,,lies all lies,,now lets clarify this,,i love colin being home,realy ;love it,,but reality means im knackered,,his masters breakfast is to be taken in bed,0730,cornflakes alpen,,cranberry juice,earl grey and lightly buttered toast,,medication,and then our district nurse,,followed by two of our four team,,the lovely michael and max,,young and chatty,,ali who is a hoot and the big boss sally who comes occasionaly to make sure all is working well,,as his lord and masters makes himeself beautiful,,i run around hoovering ,dusting,bleaching and the rest,,quick shower,,and thats me,,colin reapears,,wafting the days cologne as he orders an expresso and possibly a small biscuit,,,yes m"lord,,,all towels and bedding into wash,,i know towels can be used more than once,,but do you remember the persil advert of the 60;S,,,well no-one is holding my towels up to compare,,,my mums uses persil syndrome..please dont look at my bath towels up the stairs,,syndromes cant climb stairs...orders come,,switch on computer,,wheres that disc..have you seen,,blah blah blah,,,take first valium of day,,lunch is served me lord,,have aliitle snooze,,colin not me no im tidying from lunch,,organising tomorrows meds,,ah feel a little better now think ill read paper and perhaps a little coffee,,,poss ten minutes on terrace,,better do the daily poop run,,theres one over there im informed,,want to ram spade down his throat,supper,tidy,meds,,sit down,,watch a little television,,eastenders,corrie,,heck no,,top gear,news on four,,2 and a half men,,sort out supplies for the team,nine fifteen guys return,,i sort out clothes for tomorrow,,escape outside to walk purdie,,,i know i know but its my chore now and she is such a little sweetie..colin in bed,dogs walked tomorrow organised,,i slide into bed,,he wants to chat,,ok i can do this,,silence,,dreams of pillows and catering size cling film fill my head,,what oh yes,,night squad arriive for nightly turn,,i rise,,dont want to be known as the lazy git wife,,take purdy out,,normaly raining,,i must live in camelot,,,barbour hat on head,looks good with nightie,,,turn done back to bed,,sleep,up breakfast and so the day returns,,,is this my life,,where did the whitle linens go,,the makeup and cologne,,now its pinni,pumps and hair flipped on to top of head,,chic of course,,a new chapter,,would i change a thing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!

l made it,,Imade it,,,,

100 miles a day ,,10months,1week ,,minus week in mauritus and dubai,,and the very odd day,,i drove that M8,,,through snow and ice and fog and torrential rain and sun ,,not much sun may i say,,but there i was,,me and my little mini,,not always in the right lane not always in the right gear,,but on the right road.And barr catastrophes last night was the last time,,Colin should be home today,,dont know what time,,but today and that is it,,the nightmare is over,,or maybe just begun.If they ring and say Colin has a mark or infection or anything i cant do it i cant drive that M8 again,,well lets not exaggerate,,its not like me ,,but not for a while...Wooton bassett is on GMTV,,young boys coming home in wooden boxes,,it makes me sad,,at least im getting my boy home.I will run round with the hoover,,wash floors and do the marks and spencers run.Life will begin a new chapter,,its scary realy realy scary,,,but its life and we will live it,,,but last night as i pulled away fron the spinal unit i was crying,,tears of joy tears of fear,,who knows,,but i was leaving our bubble and our friends met and cried and laughed with for what felt like a life time,,our guys who gave Colin back his life,,a new life but a life and we are eternaly grateful,,too many to mention.So now a new chapter begins

puppy for sale

One hardly used puppy for sale,,from non smoking home,,full guarantee,,,sold as seen,,no refunds,,asking for credit will cause offence.....................
Im kidding honest,,,its just yes she has slept all night,,,,yes she is the most adorable thing ever,,but walking around the garden,,in pumps,,am i mad but not sure where hunter wellies were flung,,note hunter,im so posh,,,,anyway walking around in my wet pumps shouting ,,,out out,,dog whisperer trick,,or when i think of it was it how to get rid of rowdy teenagers,,any way move on,,,,wet up to my knees,,in most people would be there ankles but hey,,,with purdey my pup walking behind me obviosly thinking,,,wish this damn woman would hurray up and do a pee and i could go back to bed,,,,i swear,im sure i heard her,,and then me thinking darn this puppy she obviously doendnt need so back we both trot,,to we enter the house and she crouches down,,puppy not me and widdles,,,aaaaaaaaaaaaagh,,she is flung out and i go to deal with the mess to stand back in amazement as the offending patch is i swear the shape of a mans dangly bits,,,,now the dilemma is do i photograph it and send it into chat or take a break magazine,,you know like the people that send in the potatoes with the face of jesus on them,,or do i use that stuff,,wash it off,,,for puppy accidents,,miracle worker,,,with guarantee to work or half price offer for heavily weighted sacks for permananent answer to this problem,,,and then you see her little face coming up over the porch glass and think hmm one more chance and next time that sack will be ordered i promise..................

old family and new friends

Sometimes you just know if you like someone,,it just feels right,,well i felt like that today,,,a long long time ago my mothers brother married and stayed down south,,something in the city,,, and within the appropriate time produced 2 girls and then the long awaited heir,,,and i saw these cousins only a handful of times,,once when i was in my very early teens mum and i visited,,they lived in the commuter belt so london was but a jaunt away,,their father had a yacht and i remember going out in the weekend,,the week was spent in london,,mum and i doing the sights and shopping and carnabay street,a magical week and the last time i remember being with those cousins,,of course there were the family phone calls between brother and sister and visits to uncle from mother in the algarve,,where my uncle took early retirement but no contact with the cousins,,untill today.jen and jude,so many years but there was a connection,,i just knew them,,i knew if we had lived in the same city we would have been friends ,,good friends,,dont ask me why but i just know,,it must be in the genes,,we are all different but all the same,,we all have a bit of nana and grandad hider so maybe they meant it to be,,and i for one would like to stay in contact,,we need all the friends and family we can have,,

im scared oh so scared

3 more sleeps,,that is how many there is untill colin i hope is home for good,,,and im scared,,absaloutely terrified if im honest,No more bubble,,no just colin and I,Friday was spent eating homemade scones at the home of Mike and Bev,,Colins roommate in the southern for many months,,and there he was in his sitting room all relaxed and tanned,,not the grey palour that i was used to in his months in hospital.surounded by friends and family,,richard,the young injured diver,and his mum Jane on a fleeting visit from their homes in egypt and cyprus,,so life does go on.Tips on how to manage were given,,websites and creams,,laughter and memories,,sometimes no matter how people try they will never understand,,not like the families of spinal patients,,how could they,,its another world from carers to social workers,from hoists to the dreaded B word,,,bowels,,,,to which every conversation seems to return to.Promises made to meet soon i hit the M8,,two hours later i arrived in glasgow,,traffic was appauling,,but it was worth it Colin was there hyped up at the thought we were going in to our last weekend,,just one more sat and sun,,the worst of times.Les had been there the following evening with two of colins clients,,he was full of chat of the nights talk,it showed him hints of his old life and what life will be again,,bringing out the working colin,,he needs that,,and all going well will be returning in the next few weeks,,so 3 more sleeps and our new life begins,,very very scary,,and all we have to do is keep colin healthy till tuesday and he can come home,,

a great chum leaves us

Sometimes life is just not fair,,there i have said it,,a great chum left us today,,Derek slipped away in the prescence of his adoring wife and daughter.And with him went a bit of everyone he worked with in the lounge and beyond,His humour,,well he always made me laugh,,SUPERB a word he used within many of his stories,,his tales of wine club and chickens,His beloved village and the dubious fancy dress parties he was so fond of throwing,,superman and tarts and vicars,,i thought he felt a little to comfortable in that outfit,,his dogs ,,his gazebo,,blow by blow nail and hammer episode was told,Italy and dreams,,and always lauren,we went thru exam results and first year uni,together and oh how proud he is of his girl,,and his beloved jane,,oh so proud at her career and their magical marriage,not many men would surprise their girl with a wedding on a cruise,,but that was derek,,he loved to be loved,He was always there for his girls in the lounge,,many a laugh took derek and i up the stairs,,if you know what i mean,,he was my wing man in a few battles,,,and he never let me down,,colleagues come and go and we sign goodluck cards and pop a pound in an envelope and they go and another takes their seat,But it will take a great personality to fill his seat,,and maybe they never will.

darn that puppy,,husband children ect,,,,,

Well never mind having a laugh it looks like those upstairs are laughing hystericaly,,,why you ask ,,oh many reasons,,1.that darn puppy snores,,she also thinks it hilarious to watch me wade across puddles in my nighty and hunter wellies,,no cheapies for us mitchells girls,,parade around on the grass at 0130am,,shouting PURDIE PURDIE good girl,,awaiting her performance if you know what i mean,,as she has been whinning in her crate,,for her to laugh,,yes i swear i heard her and dash for the door.So back we trot,,deerhound under my arm,,,and repeat the same performance,this time for her to gallop back and stand quivering behind the main door,,Scottish deehound,,are they having a laugh,,youd think it was inbred to like the rain and the only thing this monkey could catch is a cold,,so off we go again,,thank god we have no neighbours,,but i love her unquestionably she is sooooo cute and soooooooo smart and one more trick like last night and she will be soooooooo in a dog pound,,agh
2,No more calls from Shelley,,that girl has to much fun and all thoughts of home,,which im sure she has constantly,,or so she tells me when she eventualy phones,,are put to the back of her mind,,thats my girl.
3.Colin,,well dear friend,,as i am always saying 30 years on and he still surprises me,,translate,drives one to distraction,but there we are day room southern general govan glasgow,,oh how i wanted to say monaco general,principality monaco,,back to reality,,and we have tears running down our faces as the subject has turned to his first few weeks post accident,,and how now if anything goes wrong we are not to resussitate or ventilate,,great,,well he will have to have this tatooed on his arm,lets face it who would believe me in an emergencey,,no no let him go,,well i would be in barlinnie,,well they will need to resussitate me,,
4.NO 2 child,,Melissa has been released,,2nights in royal,,tests scans prodded and released,,nothing imminent in the way of further updates,,but at least she is home and another worry is put to the back of my mind,,,,
5.Louise and james checking scotsman and espc over to the possibilty of a move in the imminent future,,do they not know it is more stressful than weddings and death,,well obviously not if your the one dead if you know what i mean,,,
6.When is the doctors open as im surely needing some sort of sedative,,six,,actualy well one each for Me,colin louise melissa james and purdey,,as we all need to take a deep breath turn round and face another day,,,,,,,,

when life turns round and bites you in the bum,,,,

Sometimes life is just not fair,,bad things happen to nice people,,well it seems like it,,this year has had so many ups and downs,,one year ago tomorrow i lost my uncle buck,,i miss him,,he was the love of my aunty helens life but he was loved by me and everyone that knew him,,then there was colin,,but we have come through this,,he is nearly home and to all that made this possible i will be eternaly gratefull,,louise and melissa both hospitalised,,but we are there for them,,and very recentley a friend and colleague,,derek had devestating news,,his adoring wife ,jane,and his daughter lauren,have my heart felt wishes,,they need all the strength they can muster,Derek has always been there for me but now i can only wait from afar,,but i need them to know im there,,how do you do that,,,how do you know what to do,,how do you know what to say,,i dont want to have these conversations with people,,its not fair,,i never know how to tell people about colin,,they always look so shocked and say im so sorry,,please dont be,,hes still here,,hes still colin and he still is the best guy i have ever known,,and the most loved by his girls and myself,,and its just one of those things that happen to good people.Derek is loved,,he knows that and that is the most important thing in life,,if your not loved go out and find someone now ,,life is short,,and all that is important is happiness,,not work,not money, not things,they all have there place but life is more its about THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE YOU,,and you are realy only rich if you know that,,colin and derek are both billionaires in that way,,i just hope they know that,,so tell the person you love now before its too late x

is someone up there having a laugh,,,,,,,,,,,,

So there i am thinking life is going quite cushty,,,Colin surviving,,the days passing, his release from saughton imminent,,hmm fraudean slip,,the southern looming,,,Louise now recovering,,no complications..shelley in America having a yahooo,,,oh to be young and free and gorgeous,,Melissa gainfully employed and enjoying her summer with Paul,,perdey slotting into our regime well,,oh yes life is good,,so hey ho,,someone up there smiles and we are all back to square one,,,melissa,,mum on way to the royal,,,mum in assesement,,,so there i am,,phoned southern,,tell colin wont be in,,royal infirmary edinburgh,,the trip to a and e exactly 7.5 mins from door to door,,one pound twenty for one hour,,two pound twenty for over,had my frequent visitor card stamped,,nearly enough visits for a free labotomy,,buy one get one free,,if anyones interested,,but has to be taken between aug12 to aug 15 so apply for holidays now,,so here i am number two child with suspected appendicitis,,are you having a laugh,,Melissa on morphine and a drip,,surgeon thought it very bizarre two sisters with the same symptons within weeks,, no not realy this is the Mitchells,,so here we are Melissa awaiting tests in Royal,,dejavu,,ovaries ect mentioned,,my eyes glaze over,,where will this all end,,PAPA ambulance support team on standby,,this time next week,,will be the night before Colin comes home,,phoebe and perdey will be friends,ok maybe not,,Louise and james will be enjoying supper,,shelley will be somewhere in the usa,melissa will be out with Paul and I will be on copacabbana beach RIO,,hoping there all having a lovely time,,either that or packing for that labotomy,,lets face it sometimes i think ive already had it,,answer on postcards to the above address,,,,,,,,,,

just call me the dog whisperer

Well we have a new addition to our family,,she is the cutest,,all legs and naughtiness,her name is Purdey,and she is the best looking scottish deerhound you will ever see,,yes i am slightly biast,,anyway she is only seven weeks old and is fitting in to the mitchell house hold quite nicely,,its for Colin,,he loves his dogs and now he has Purdey,,and she will grow and be this dangley gorgeous beast and Colin and his dog will go out and survey their land,,well the garden ,,,,and life will be good.Home beckons now for Colin,,a week on tuesday,,oh how good that sounds,,only 1 more saturday and two more sundays,,after all these months it is too close but not here yet,its the worst,,we have to keep his skin clear and his spirits high and then he will be home to his girls,,and his new pup,,,nine sleeps......................................

i have now officialy lost the plot

So there i am all showered, coiffured,,full makeup on,,driving out the gate when my eye wandered up to the clock on my ever faithfull,,well so far,mini,,when no,no,surely not,,yes my dear friends the clock read 0257,,check mobile,,no what has possesed me,,reverse,keys out in house pick up phone 1,2,3,4,,,,,at the first stroke the time by accurist is ,,,,0259,,,nooooooooooo,,,,,my alarm starts to scream,,,,,,,,,,,,no,,how on earth have i managed to get up and do daily routine ONE HOUR earlier than required,,,so here i am dear friends huddled on the sofa trying to resist the temptation to return to my bed,,awaiting the clock to make its way to 0400,,yes i have officialy lost the plot and my life is pants.......................

im so excited

Life is good,,i hate to say it but colin is well,,slight mark this afternoon but it faded,halleluhay ,,obviously not the right spelling,,anyway we are on our way,,colins bladder and prostrate scan was 100per cant,,can be iffy after the trauma,,anyway another plus point.So we live every day in anticipation,,worry that he becomes unwell and return date gets put back,,i think then i would lose the plot,,its been to long,,i need him home,,the girls need him home,,the puppy needs him home,,,wait backtrack,,puppy,,,yes surprise,,i bought colin a puppy,,he mentioned it weeks ago and that was it i was on a mission,,jasper has moved on to the kennel in the sky and darcey is now with the gamekeeper,,out in the field all day every day and it would not be fair to bring her home,And Colin needs a dog,,so we will get this absaloutely GORGEOUS girl puppy in the next week,,she is just so special,,i have fallen in love,,she is a deer hound,Yes the huge dogs that lounge around in baronial mansions,,ok so we dont have a baronial mansion but well we can dream ,,but she is just gorgeous,,not named yet,,always a problem in our house,,all our girl dogs barr phoebe had boys names so watch this space,,Colin will be home a week next tuesday,,sounds better than 2 weeks yesterday and our little girl puppy will be added to our family and my dream of the waltons will resume,,so in a few weeks if you see a small harrased woman and a chap in a wheelchair being dragged across the braids wave the chances are its me and colin,

eye ,eye whats going on here then,,,,,,,,,

Another Mitchell trauma kicked to touch,,Colin was wheeled around to the eye department and duly presented his eye balls for inspection,drs oohed and aaghed and drops presented and bish bosh contact lenses,,yes two,,were rescued,,so those little blighters that had lurked in his eyes for the last nine months were out.Not quite as dramatic an end to this trauma as i had expected,but at least now at an end.And so another week of therapy begins,,Two sessions of hydropool scheduled,Colin is not a keen water baby but the feeling of wieghtlessness,,is that even a word,,is a real buzz,,so we are down to 14 days,,ten normal and four of the dreaded weekends.Cant realy understand why we have to wait now,,of course Colin is going gliding next week,,up up and away,,quite jealous realy,i think it must be awesome just to glide silently in the air,bit worried about all this,gliding swimming,too many things going on,he will be so bored back here with just me to keep him entertained,,right thats it he can have a week to settle in and then hes out of here,back to work for you young man,chop chop go bring the bacon home,,,aah the thought of jeremy kyle,this morning ,loose woman,and the film on 5,,yes im sure colin needs to return to normality,,what you say all that drivel on the tv,,surely not,know of course not,,thats mine all mine and i need peace to enjoy so colin put that wheelie on full speed and off you go uo that byepass,,and dont be late home or your supper will be in the dog,,nearly back to normal then,,bliss

ps

thank you to melissa and louise that visited their dad this weekend,,they make me smile and keep colin and I from running away,,well me pushing colin at a high speed,,they make life all well worth it,,so we will continue to spend those minutes and hours and eventualy the mitchell clan will be home,,shelley,who is having a ball in the usa,,and colin and his girls,,and the sun will shine and well we will be HOME,xxxx

15 days and counting,,

First of all i want to say thanks to all my chums who have been so fab in the ,,no blog drama,,and kim ILOVE YOU,,you make me laugh,,anyway we are now on countdown,,fifteen days,,we just have to keep colon well enough to get him home so i can kill him,,,ok he survived the last time,,but he was lucky,,i took my time with the medication,,but i have a very short attention span,,i get bored easily,,but every day for ever,,well i can only try,,,well another weekend has passed,,and god are they boring,,i know i am the centre of colins universe but realy he must be so bored of sitting in that strange pink hall,,looking at each other,,its surreal.realy you want to start throwing food,,or at least something around the hall just to have some fun,,i watch eastender and coronation street and in the jail when they visit tracy gail ect,,well it looks fun,,ok not disney world fun but not this monotinous pinky hall,,waiting till something or someone does something interesting,,no we need colin home so i can bore him to death in our tastefuly painted drawing room,im at the end of my tether with these visiting hours,,,hes colin for god sake,,not a convict,,so there i am another weekend past ,,2 more weekends,,15 more days we can do this,,and then earl grey,homemade cake ,homemade lemonade on the terrace,,white company linen onthe table,,emma bridgewater china,,colin in his panama me in my floaty tea dress,,weekends ala mitchells,,and the pinky hall will be a distant ,memory

medical update

This is quite shocking,,colin has told me for ages he needs new glasses,he cant focus out his right eye,,thought he might have injured it in the accident,so in optical express tests were done,,Oh my god,,they had left a contact lens in his right eye.Nine months this soft sports contact lens has been sitting in colins eye.And i had asked them,,my girls had asked them and all that were asked assured us the lenses had been removed.But there it is in position,nine months later,,i only thought to ask as this so could have happened to stacey,my chums girl,who had a riding accident,,72 hours they were left in but thank goodness shirley had the presence of mind to stop them removing them before they caused damage,SO it was a question we asked many times.Eye surgeons have now been called in to see how they can remove this lens safetly,please let it be done soon

paradise at last

Squeezed back into another black cab,,home supper wimbeldon ,careres bed,,,sighed heavily,,please god dont let me have to smother him,,chat ,laugh a small tear,,silence,,jesus,,not one demand,,i slept he slept,,carers arrived for turn at midnight,,i got up left them to it sat on stair,,30 min,two chatters,lights on ..Jesus he slept right through it and i sat on the stairs,,back in,,, 730..not a word ,,not a demand,,pillow and cling film can be stored till the next time,,he is safe,Yes im moaning but i LOVED every moment of it,,the gyle was fun,,colin corrine and i had a chat and a giggle,,even thought we might go out on this double date again,,supper was fun again,,well at least supper involved food,,children relaxed watching tv,,we were home,,Friday was ambulance day,,we sat on our terrace,,posh ramp,,in the sunshine with our tea after carers left,,relaxed,,at home,,in love,,yes how sloppy but a couple,,you know what i mean,,,and all to soon the ambulance arrived and colin headed west but we are nearly there,,nearly home for good,

expresso,,,yes please

Thursday morning dawned,,coffe and breakfast in bed,,and that was just for colin,,carers came,,i showered,,people arrived,,papa,flying visit,,3 people to look at enviromental control,,oh my god they are going to give him some sort of machine so he can demand,even if im upstairs,i hoped it was battery operated,,and they can be easly removed.Social workers,,is this realy a nightmare,,wake up wake up,,no its true..lunch given meds oh god they will have to be give 40 min early,,willl that kill him,,i didnt mean it honest,,its a crime of passion,taxi called.Have you ever tried to fit a ery large wheelchair in a black cab,,not easy but can be done eventualy,,easier if you cut off colins head and feet,,but that didnt seem to be an option,,Arrived gyle,,colins living nightmare,,haha,,and bestest chum Corrine there as my wing man,,,but appointments made,,optical express,,more of that later,hair cut,,romanian orphan type,i must admit it was cute but maybe not with the same je ne sais quq as my effort,,and most importantly a date with a cup of expresso in starbucks...all acjieved in a very busy gyle,,school holidays,,,

cling film or pillow,,,,,

So he was home,,his birthday,,louise and melissa colin and I,,where was shelley you ask,,where indeed,,well she has jumped a flight and headed back to baltimore,,for eight weeks,,thats my girl,,,but shes young and i want her life,but i cant so i live through her life and adventures and dream.Fillet steak and cake went down well and a small glass of red wine,Medicine were dispatched,,not my strong point,counting that is,,but my sister in law Elaine assures me the local chemist can do all this for me,,our local chemist is more used to dispensing methodone so maybe shes right,All was going well,,the carers turned up,,on time and realy very nice,,all was going to well,,he was organised and bedded and Itoo exhausted from all the excitment retired ,so there we were two people lying in single bed chatting in the dark,,very bizarre,,then there was silence,we had gone to sleep,,what felt like minutes later there i was,,charlotte can you stretch my legs,,charlotte can you get me some water,,im too hot,,its too quiet,,eh,,and so it went,,agh..1230 am the girls arrived to turn,,and went and on the demands went,,I cant do this i thought,,this will be a nightmare,,i will suffocate him,,im not good with sleep deprivation,,I know i like to wander in the middle of the night,,but its on my terms,,this was an awake nightmare there i was lying in the dark thinking if you ask me to do something else i will kill you,,,but the silence haunted me and peace reigned and thoughts of murder were put on hold.

hi im back

I realy appreciate my friends,,i have been amazed at the number of people that have been in touch wondering if all is well as i have not been blogging in the last while,,all is well,,please believe me,,nothing sinister,,to tell you the truth a colleaugue ,made a few comments on the blog,,she couldnt believe that i would write or people would still read it,,she felt i was being self obsessed,,and sometimes when your down,comments hit hard.So i gave you all a break and was delighted when so many said ,no,come back,,so here i am.So much has happened,,my louise was indeed operated on in the early hours relieving her of the dreadful pain she was in.So there we were colin in glasgow and Louise in edinburgh,,,thankyou NHS,,what would we do without you.But with love and devotion of our lovely James louise was realeased to home,where she is now recovering. It was a scary moment,there i was in the same area that Colin was admitted to so many months before,,my legs were jiggly,,it was a bizzare moment,,the intense feelings of deja vu,but she was safe and James was there and so she was in great hands.Colin came home,,yes two days,,he arrived by ambulance,,admired the ramp and was wheeled in,,the nicities were out the way he was home,,a sack of medication arrived too,,oh my god,,it was like the first year exams for pharmacy,,not that i ever did it,,but i can imagine,,how many drugs can one man take,,