to gaelle with love,,,,

hi gaelle i cant believe you are still reading this blog i thought you would have been bored ages ago,,its nearly 9 months can you believe,,i could probably tell you every minute of the time in the western,,sometimes i think it was the best,,sounds bizarre i know but it was my bubble and you all understood and it was all around colin and keeping him alive and there is so many people i would love to thank,and all the things along the way,,his fingers yes they wiggle but not enough strength to push a buzzer,,his toes,,well same realy,,he can move his legs a little,,but there is no connection and no strength so of no functional value,,i have learned the jargon,,i know the word,,but as you know his injury was so massive there was no way he would walk away.He is practicing with an electric power chair,,using head controls,,his fingers are not strong enough and he cannot move his arm so he has to use his head,,and that has limited movement.His chest is clear at the moment,,and he has just started to build up time after a pressure sore,,twice in nine months,,not too bad but his skin is vunerable.Our house is now ready for him,,we have a substantial care package,,we contribute to it and its not cheap,,but its only 4 times a day and im scared,,there is no way i would be able to hoist or turn on my own but i will have to cross that bridge,,i think colin will be petrified.His life in my hands,,poor sod,,so all in all Colins body is not there anymore,,as you know all bodily functions will be managed but his brain and his heart are all there,,and so we thank our lucky stars and move on.Im tired running on low,,the blog keeps me going,,mad or what,,and Colin accepts my bizarre life,,im hardly ever in,,either at work the M8 or at hospital,I feel im letting the girls down by never being there and i cant not not be there as i love him.You see tradgedy and joy every day Gaelle,,but this is neither,,just an ordinairy family trying to get back their life.One expression i hated in the beginning was ,,its early days,,of course you were all right,,and sometimes i feel we havent even started,,but then i read a message from someone like yourself and it makes me smile,,life is not great its good and will get better,,but best of all is the love and friendship i have found and thats what keeps us going,You sandra karen mcsorley,all the people that listened and cared you are the people that matter,,and even if Colin never lifts any of his fingers again,,or moves his arms legs or toes,hes still here and we are grateful and it was all due to you and the rest of the guys and i will always be eternaly grateful.