Coco continues...and Friday/Saturday/ Sunday from Mum

A Warning- short and cautionary fairy tale.
In the dark and mysterious wood the fairies toil under the watchful eye of the witches at the top of the hill. The unwritten law is guilty until proven innocent. And to prove their quest, all means of trickery are put into place.
No stone is left unturned to help their case, but sometimes, just sometimes witches cannot win. And innocent is just that, innocent. The end.

Friday
To my horror the gas man drilled through the phone line- two days without contact from the outside world. Ok, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, we did have our mobiles, but no computer. We have survived, but only just.

A Brick wall...
Three times in the past have I hit the brick wall. Normally around week 9 after each of the births of my gorgeous babies, any Mum will tell you, there comes a time when broken sleep, continual worry over doing the right thing for your infant, trying to be supermum, wife, friend and trying desperately to avoid the comments of "she had let herself go", suddenly comes to a crisis point. That is the point when you hit the brick wall.
The brick wall reappeared again this Friday. I knew it was looming, the signs were all there.
Lack of concentration, constant worry about silly things (work related as usual), broken sleep (writing this blog at 3.15am!), drowsy drives to Glasgow, (M8 users do not panic, I was being driven by my Dad). Colin was good, we chatted, his DIY was being increased daily, (bar infections or problems outwith control) vent free was looking possible.
Jenny, his physio did her stint. I knew I shouldn't have, I was too vulnerable, but still I did. I asked her how things were going. She truthfully said that she felt that Colin's progress was not showing much improvement at this time. The brick wall stikes again. "Thanks Jenny, see you Monday" I said and walked into the corridor.
I could hardly lie in the fetal position in the hospital corridor. But oh how I wanted to.
I am out of my comfort zone. I can't control Colin's limbs. Social workers, occupational therapists, benefits offices, they all march to their own tune.
Inside I'm screaming, outside I shout at the top of my lungs "I'm not letting myself go!"
Young newly qualified doctor saw the signs first, senior consultant at her back. They will have seen this before. The week 9 brick wall.
The enough is enough, I'm tired of playing this game routine. "The room" beckoned. For those who have not read this blog from the beginning, "the room" is where you go to hear the news that you do not want to hear. It's funny, I would swear that this "room" was exactly the same as the one in the Western General. Beige, beige and oh yes, beige. Or for my more discerning readers, Farrow and Ball No19.
Tears flowed, words were listened to. No progress with the physio, a bad sign. But no, still these doctors will not give up, yes it is slow but not finished. They won't give up. Colin wont give up, and neither will we. My brick wall was hit. Consultant mopped me up and sent me back out to fight with Colin, fight for the girls and maybe even write to those responsible for decorating the "room" and suggest Farrow and Ball 34- Cooking Apple green. Much warmer and to those hitting the brick wall, much kinder.

Saturday
Eventually I succumbed and a natural/herbal sleeping pill was found at the back of the kitchen drawer. On many of Colin's long haul flights, one was taken just before take off to ensure a bright eyed chap at the other end. But although I slept till 7am this morning, I can't honestly said that it was strong enough.
I have, in the past, been only to eager to pop pills for headaches, even maybe on the thought of getting headaches! But I have stayed clear in the last nine weeks as I need to be alert to deal with this situation. Anyway, maybe my body has become immune. As Melissa wrote yesterday when we regained internet, it was nice for Colin to have his family with him.

Sunday-
Louise and I visited today. Things were not good. Colin was very tired, with not even the energy to rally to speak to us. His temperature was up in the night and was being controlled when we arrived. We stayed only an hour, so that he did not feel that he had to use up his precious energy that he needs for his recovery trying to keep his eyes open. Hopefully things will be better tomorrow after his day of rest. As week 10 start we rally round to keep him on the road to recovery.