thank you donna

some people and their families even think of colin and myself while they are out in the sunny lands of provence.Donna and her son christopher have been firm family friends for years,,having been through many a crisis in both families together,I know donna would always be there for me and that i am there at the end of the phone if she needed help.So it was of great surprise when she phoned to say she had just returned from a family trip and had a few bits and pieces for me,,,but it turned out to be more than i have ever imagined.She went on to explain that they always make a detour when on france to have their own personal pilgrimage to Lourdes.Donna is no stranger to her own medical difficulties,,and deals with christophers ailments also with fun and love,,as well as always being there for her true friends.Well this trip she included the mitchell clan in her preyers and as she said lit the biggest candle there,,it was nearly in competition to the ramp that can be seen from space,,,and came home bearing gifts,,,the sweetest rosary and angel,,a st. chistopher and best of all a bottle of holy water,,can you imagine,,so there i was 5 min ago dabbing this precious liquid to colins spin and neck and legs,,,,Donna and i believe in miracles,,we believe in the higher force,,,so if there are any miracles for us let them be soon.

its not going to be a good weekend ,,i can feel it in my waters

Well things arent to good today,,,colin has a slight split mark,,,this can bring massive problems but as team mitchell,,carers ,district nurses and myself,,the consultant ,,obviously,,,have had a discussion and decided bed rest is to be had,,This is not a desicion i take lightly as it causes great stress to colin,,,well to me realy,,obviously,,as he becomes frustrated and down,,and as i have said before that is my role in this family,,,anyway although we had decided to try and escape the house today its not to be,,he is in bed with his dvd,,his kindle book and a face that would make you cry,,,worse than normal,,i have escaped to the drawing room on pretence i am tidying up,,,must look that on google in case he asks questions about it later.tyding up i mean .Mind you hes lucky im here,,,oh yes he is,,as is my habit i take purdey into the grounds,,ok garden,,around 3am most mornings while the turn carers do their thing.but there i was this morning,,3sh,,am,,,in colins long,,to my ankles towelling dressing gown,,navy,,very cosy and colin cant wear it any more,,i used to wear a lot in the bad bad days as i felt closer to him,,,,,ok ok so mine was in wash,,,it also has a hood,,,my blue uggs,,,ok ok children have uggs i have sainsbury ugllies,,,,so now you have picture,,old woman in long dark hooded robe,,hood up ect,,,,digging a hole in the earth with spade,,and i suddenly thought ,,,oh my god how would i explain my self to the police if they were to come down our lane at this precise time,,,,they have a look round for bad boys in the night,,,our lane is so dark and quiet it has attracted them,,,i have known it to have drug dealing done,,ladies of the night,,,and something to do with the local kennell club,,im sure the local pc said doggers,,ah well i have always loved our four legged friends,,,,would they believe i was only getting rid of purdeys waste that she had produced for me on our nightly expedition,,,or as the girls call it the poo run,,,would i be taken away to be questioned or just run straight to the mental health ward,,,,neither this time i got away with it.

gaelles visit

Many months ago i received a message from one of the intensive care nurses from the western,the nurse that dealt with his admission on the day of colins accident..gaelle...from that day she has kept in touch,,i have never met her,,she was on night shifts and was in later than i.But this week we had coffee,,,she was amazing,,we spoke for hours,,she filled in spaces on that night and weeks that we never knew,,she was caring and had a bond that was built up with colin in those very dark hours.she had conversations,,although colin was unable to speak,,,by lip reading that she recounted,,it was amazing,,colin speaking of his family and life,,,the outcome was
not good in those days,,the staff in the western were amazing,,they saved colins life,,they sat through the awful chats in the ..beige ,,room as consultants dicussed colins fate and future.it had been very bleak,,total paralyis and full ventilation,,if indeed he survives,,she had found the blog,how bizarre,,and had kept in touch with is progress and let the rest of the western staff know,,colins progress watched with interest by all in edinburgh,With every improvement they were amazed,,,it was not meant to happen,,but it did,,colin did it,,,they saved colins life,,but colin saved himself.People like gaelle are scarce,,they work with love and caring and most of them work in the western general intensive care ward,,,you never realy want to meet them but if you do,,end up in that ward,,please believe me whatever has happened they will move heaven and earth to pull you through,we are very grateful,,I still have colin and the girls their dad.Without them it would have been so different,,,,,,,,,,

another week

Its treatment day,,we have carers every morning but every second we have the district nurses,,,not pleasant but essential,,and one of the carers has just come to tell me that colin is a bit down today,,very quiet,,,well he can just forget that,,if any one is going to be depressed its me,,i have just finished the kitchen,hall drawing room,,im about to start on the bedroom,,at least 3 washes and 2 ironings the podiatrist and the physio,,the doctor and messages and paperwork to do,,,,,,so i reckon i have the upper hand if it comes to moaning,,,and i am the centre of colins universe so maybe i should just remind him of that this morning,,,,,,,there thats it said so i can take a big breath and just start again,,,,,

IM A DEERHOUND,,,life according to purdey

Well there i was enjoying my saturday rest,,a weekend of mooching around was on the horizon when mrs,m, announced,,right purdey come on were off and so we were,,in to this big van thing,,seemingly her chums lesley and douglas knew a man with a van,,,hmm ok ill give this a chance and so was dumped in the back with Mr.m....no way. there we were off along the road,,me and mr m being shougled about in the back,,mr m winging on that he felt like he was the pope in the popemobile,,,oh my god id been kidnapped by the dog catcher,,or worse,,,but i could hear mrs m chatting away in the front,,it seemed a long way but suddenly the van doors opened and mr m was wheeled out,,,WOW this was dog heaven,,there were millions of us ,,who knew,,mr m and i sat,,i protected him and they tied him to me ,,guess they were worried that hed wander off,,so i was the official minder,,,and then there were horses and men in white trousers and what i heard mrs m call stick chicks,,,wow you could see right up their skirts,,,not my type realy,,but hey mr m and douglas seemed to like what they saw,,mr m said he was eyeing up the horse flesh but im not convinced,,,horses men stick chics,,hmm reckon there must have been a polo match just about to start,,they ate sandwiches and strawberries and did i get any ,,did i what apart from that nasty man douglas throwing strawberry husks for me,,,what the heck ive eaten worse,,and then it was my turn to be paraded...reckon people had only come to see me,,this polo thing seemed quite lame to me,,,and you know what people didnt know what i was,,,a lurcher,,are you having a laugh,,a whippet cross,,oh my god are you being serious,,IM A DEERHOUND,,,dont know who was more upset me or mrs m,,,was my pedigree in question,,surely not,,and a possibility of two potential fathers a lurcher and a whippett,,im distraught,,there will have to be dna tests,,appearances on jeremy kyle and jerry springer,,,my mother will have to declare my real father,,were they on a break,,was she just unfaithfulll,things were getting worse some well connected lab bit me on the nose and some ex army terrier started to do some very unsavoury advances to my hind leg,,,realy,,do they have no manners and if one more chap sniffed my butt without an invitation,,well i tell you it was just not nice,,there was some good times,,there was the sweetest pup,,well it might have been a hamster but this lady kept cuddling it and smooching and saying it was a dog,,so who am i to question her,,after all i am from a single parent family and at this moment am very confused about my father,,,aah well and so the day went on,,lots of people stopped to talk to mr m..friends old and new,,some realy old i think,,....Amanda someone,,she was a different breed from mrs m,,she had realy brown skin,,,mrs m is always complaining she is peely wally white,Amanda carried that hamster pup around she was very chatty and mr m liked her,,,shirley someone,,her pup must have done something realy wrong as she didnt bring it,,mrs m liked her chat ,,,a little pitbull called thom and a whole lot of douglases,,not sure what breed they are but there were lots of them from greatgrandpa to baby max,,,nice to hear their litter was kept together,,,a man called manclark,,he must have a very big lorry as mr m said he played elephant polo,,gillian and rory,,now he was a funny one barked at me one moment and sniffed my butt the next,,men....Will ,,he was nice had a lot of horses and even more children,,,and i heard mrs m tell lesley that it was his pitch and his ball so when his black lab bit my nose i just yelped,,didnt want him to put us out now did we,,,there was Johnny back box man,,dont know what that meant but only saw him for a second,,geoff and charlie,,now i wouldnt mind if they took me for a walk,,they were cool and i bet they would know i was a deerhound,,and this realy cool guy fraser,,,he was like me and was desperate to check out that picnic basket,,,George,,,what did he mean that he was robbed,,,do you reckon the other side was playing dirty,,,shhhhh,,,fiona seemed to be his mate,,and little puplet sarah,,At one point mrs m looked very red and sweaty,,why she was running after me calling my name as i ran from those bully dogs i dont know,,id have gone back to protect her,,what a fuss,,but thats women for you,,,im only little so if id forgetten anyone im sure they will understand,,after all they all seem to be realy realy nice and great chums of the mitchells,,now what mr m meant about how he wouldnt have gottten through it without his friends and family i dont know as we all know its us dogs that are the real friends,,but hey if it makes him happy,,,think its nearly the end of this polo season lark,,boy i enjoyed that day but watch out you guys,,you little terrier who was doing unmentionable things to my leg and that black lab that tried to bite my nose of cos. 2011 me and mr and mrs m will be back and i will be big and dna tests will have been completed,,,and on behalf of me and my new family id like to say one more thing,,,,I AM A DEERHOUND.................

its been a funny old week

It sure has,,im totaly exhausted,,a good tired i suppose,,im on the go the whole time,,with colin with the kids with the puppy,,i realy dont know what i did before this,Oh i mouched about shopping and things and probably complaining and whining,,life was simple,,but its not so simple at the moment,,i managed to give colin his evening medication one morning,,then melissa and i sat and watched him wondering if indeed i had killed him,,he survived,,,it was just too simple,,i was tired the medication all looked the same,,i had all my excuses for the court ready,,i was tired m,lord,,i was confused m,lord,,,it wasnt me i was out the country at the time m,lord....oh yes i was going down,,,but i got away with it this time,,,we looked at transport,,cars that in fact looked more like postman pat vans than the beasts Colin used to drive,,one or two were dismissed from the start,,realy the only person that should ride on his own in the back is the pope,,,and one seemed,,ok,,not the choice for our old life but a necessity for our new,,so the deed was done,,,we had the devil that wears primark,,social worker,,and a group of realy very nice others,,district nurses and carer bosses,,,they looked on in aw as I once again locked horns with the polyester clad being,,colin feigned illness,,,and the meeting continued,,nothing new,just more of the same,,,where are they all when the problems happen,,,not here anyway,,so how they can all sit and say,,ooh you shouldnt do that on your own,,,oooh im sure things will settle down,,,OOOH they better had ,,,,and dont patronise me,,and im glad i didnt do homebaking for this lot,,,well maybe the district nurse and the carers,,,,ok ok you that know me well know i dont bake but i could have......and then there are the times when reality hurts,,,i am now in the habit of taking the pup out for a walk after supper,,its warm and light and ipod in ears off we go,,but i dread the return,as colin is sitting there in the drawing room window,,he cant see me but i can see him,,and thats when my heart misses a beat,,my strong handsom husband is captive in his own body,,and i regret all the times he asked me if i wanted to come to walk his dogs,,no ive to tidy up,,no coronation street is on,,no its too cold,,no im too tired,,and thats when i know that i was wrong,,i missed those memories,,the ones i cant have,,i should have said yes,,but too late,,too late for lots of things,,colins body is his prison,but his mind is free,,we have to build new memories now,,but i will never stop crying inside when i see him in that window,,,

gael

i mean it you must come for a cuppa,,dont know how to get you my address as there are so many fans and paprrazi stalking me,,but if you email me on tooty275@AOL.COM....this site is private so HELLO ,,OK,,,AND CHAT,,who are obviously trying to get pictures of me in my curlers putting the dog out,,,how cruel are those press,,cant get in it.as you probably read am marooned in house most of time for the forseeable future so most afternoons good.

what now..

bet your sorry you read this then,,but realy i am happy ,and depressed and not depressed and loved and blah blah blah,,,,i dont mind when people tell me about their next holidays and the one they are booking after that,,,,much...i love to hear how sunny it is at polo,,happening only miles from the house,,but as colin does not have an off road wheelchair,, yet,we havent had the guts to go to,,one thing having lorry pulled out the mud by the tractor,,but a wheelchair,,,but we will be there,soon,,,and we do appreciate donna,,my goodest chum saying prayers and lighting monstrous candles in lourdes for us,,but it aint kicked in yet,,,donna let me know when its due to start,,,and fiona m dropping in on the off chance,,with lillies and goodies,,to be promptly thrown out the door again as half the NHS were about to descend,,,and Corrine popping in on a saturday night for a glass of red to whine about her life,,makes me feel so much better,,but i was so looking forward to seeing megan dying on Casualty,,oh well theres alaway replay,,and to all my other friends,,you know who you are who are still listening to my tales of whoe,,,and family who are as i speak having papers drawn up to have me commited,,thankyou,xxx

im still here,,,sorry

So realy what is the point of this rant,,,that the goverment have no money to put into the community,,yes,,,,that i might just stand for politics,,to fight for the wife,,,reckon i could call it,,,who wants to shop on saturday morning in M AND S,,beautifuly suited booted and coiffured party,,,,,behave,,,,,no
is it that you have to wait approx 5/6 months to have delivery of a veichle suitable to go off on any jaunts,,,that could be,,Get that pair out of the house party,,,,,
Is it the inability to see how much responsibilty the family takes on after the hospital,,,its i havent done a four year degree in nursing ,,and you expect all this party....
and the,,thank god my best friend is now home and i have someone i can rant to that will always love me party,,,,,,,

im still here

but only just,,,so no trips for us,,,taxis are akward,,and darn expensive,,i have escaped once or twice ,,Costco,with chum Isla,,i know i know not the maldives but a little island of sanity in this troubelsome sea,,and today to marks and spencers the gyle,,big mistake as all these perfect couples,,her in pure white linen trousers,him in nantucket reds,,and the right boat shoes,sunkissed complexions wandering around delicatessen section nonchelantly throwing antispasta into their trollies,,ok its not laguna beach but you get the idea,,more like man at top shop,and her a dash of dove,moisturiser and hint of dare i say it ,,fake tan...and a pair of classic m and s polyster slacks worn a tad so short they could be cropped,,with no not the right boat shoes but a pair of foot gloves,,well it all looked very good to me,,and no not the antipasta,,sure thats not the right spelling,but i digress,,,and yes their trolley was overflowing with cottage pie,,and percy pigs but again they were together,,,but i can hear Isla shaking her head,,we have had this conversation so many times over the years,,there would be no sat excursions for us,,our two colins would never allow that to happen,,no her colin would be off running aother marathon,,or fishing or windsurfing ,,and she would be there with her fortnum and mason hamper,,,and i would be in some field holding a polo stick and some flighty mare as colin galloped up and down,,and we would both love it.........

im still here

JUST......and hi to you my friends,,this is not a happy clappy update,,to be fair i have already tried the samaritans and they hung up,,,No this is a very sorry for my self update,,so bear with me,,Colin is great,,hes well and thriving,,i on the other hand want to stand up on a very large chair and scream at all those silly people in the hospital that told me how wonderful it would be when he came home,,they lied,,,,before you all rush to the phone to book us an appointment with relate lets clarify that statement,,,Yes it is wonderful to have him home,,the m8 a distant memory,,but its not easy,,the constant regime of meds and nesecaary timetables for colins well being are essential.The care in the community ,,well i dont know whose community,, as it aint in mine,no if there is a problem dont bother picking up that phone and ringing the HELP line as they are obviously out enjoying themselves,,,the carers are marvelous ,when they turn up,,and there isnt enough hours in my day.,,,you are not Colins carer,,,another stupid statement made by the southern general,,no im not im his wife and love him and want to help,,and have no problem doing meds,ect,,but where was all this magical help they pretended was there,,no just a ploy to get us to leave........who knew,,,,,we have no transport,,that can take up to 6 months,,so we are marooned in our heaven we call hell,,each more stir crazy than each other.....to be continuedhttp://colinsrecovery.blogspot.com/

ps..............................

gael of course we would love you to come for a cuppa x

i knew it,,i just knew it,,,

Well its official i am a jinx,,there i am at the vets,,only 24hours later than the lovely phoebe visit,,,and here i am with purdey.I could see them looking at me from above there glasses ,,whispering,,muchhausens by proxy was muttered,,,are you kidding,,,Ok sometimes things just happen,,i swear i have never touched the puppy,,but yes i was right she was not well,,she had a temperature,,and a littly lady problem,,cystits type,,so she was feeling poorly,,,another X amount of money for antibiotics was handed over and poorly puppy and i returned home,,colin and melissa quite relieved to see that this time i returned with a pooch,,so there i was one poorly dog who has just suddenly come to life,,and is now high on antibiotics and bounding around the drawing room as if nothing was wrong,,,i dont know,,it was quite nice when the puppy was quiet,,dont snarl,,you mums know what i mean,,when the kids are poorly,,obviously not realy unwell,,but enough that all they realy want is calpol and to cuddle in to their mum,,,At this time colin is ensconced in his study with two colleagues,,organising his office space,,he needs to go back to work soon,,i need him to go back to work soon,,,,not that he is driving me mad but i am having withdrawl symptons,,,jeremy kyle needs me,,this mornings ratings have dropped and well loose woman what can i say.And so all is normal in the Mitchell household,,yes its me,me,me,,,maybe they will have enough to do in the study so i can see some eastenders,,,well one day,,and lordy make it soon

warning to all animals

Sometimes i feel my life is jinked,,if there was a twitter or facebook for animals my name would be top of that list,,charlotte mitchell avoid at all costs,,,well maybe i am exagerating,,but i have lost a lot of good furry friends in the last while,,and the best of all was put to sleep this morning,,phoebe,,she arrived the size of a beany baby,,and in the tradition of her owner,did not grow much more.She was 13 a very old lady,,but she was a memeber of our family and much loved,,she would hold her own and everyone knew she was the real boss in our home,,I knew today was the last day,,she had become very unwell so i took her to our vet and she was sent to sleep and i drove home with tears rolling down my face knowing that there would always be a piece of our family now missing,We love you phoebe. xx