beam me up scotty,,,,,,,,

Oh my goodness,,i have three men in my house all morning,,and they are still here,,why i hear you say,,well to install colins enviromental control system,,,noooooo,,they have a machine that gives him control,,,take it back i say,,under my breath of course,,these silly people think its a good idea if he can,answer the phone,,control telly,radio,dvd,ipod,lights ,doors,,,whose silly idea was that,,i have had control of the telly flicker thing for exactly 6 days,,6 days,,no,,my life will now be filled with top gear,the news,radio 4,,the eagles,,im too young for this,,im still a jeremy kyle sort of chick,,i do admit to listening to radio 2,,but a girl can only watch so many re runs of old spy movies ,top gear ect...this is mental torture,,i have only just found out how to work the record on the sky channel,,the year of the videos has been and gone and i still couldnt work that fandangled machine,,,is this fair...i know life isnt fair,,colin can now be seen cotroling my whole house by the flip of a finger,i seriously think at one stage he will demand we call him captain kirk of the star ship enterprise,,please god he doesnt expect me to dress up as lt.uhura,,,note to self,look out polyester mini dress,,,, and hide those large ears,,.....captains log 2010,humanoid female,looks as if showing emotion about box in corner of the room,,bones we need a diagnosis,,if she can not be controlled she will have to be exterminated,,,there again she may have her uses,,,,,BEAM ME UP SCOTTY..................................................

i am available for tour de france,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Sunday arrived,,day of rest,,well not in my house,,text arrived from bev,,she had just had to administer little orange pill,,mike was obviously having a stint of direflexia,,at this time i was administrating a nebuliser for our colin,,so with sir terry,janet and john,and love songs sunday was more or less normal.mike and ali came and went,,colin coiffured and organised looked forward to his day.Melissa no 2 child returned from a christening at the castle,,oh yes friends in high places,,and helped her daddy for most of the day organise his computer,study ect so he could anticipate returning to work,,thank you melissa i was on the verge of murder when you came back.I dont know which lead goes into which hole,and frankly i dont care,,,i have little time or patience with these new fandalged things,,if it doent work first time the call goes up,,,MELISSA I CANT DO THIS,,,and my melissa,angel that she is always knows what to do.So reorganising colins study was not first choice of the day,,no omnibus of eastenders was,,no chance,,Papa popped in a welcome diversion,,papa popped out,,no dont go please stay dont leave me with this mad man,,the man i dont recognise,the professional man,,place that there,that lead goes in that ,,that box thingy,,ok so i dont even remember what he said,,but i remember what i said,,MELISSA I CANT DO THIS.so the day went on,,seven brides for seven brothers,,20 min was watched..oh to live in that film,,where one wore what looked like quilts as skirts,,sat around all winter,singing and dancing and oohing and aaghing the snow from the window,,oh yes i could do that.Fancy a cup of tea,,so back to my world.rest of the day passed ,,,some chic flick you ask,,no no i reply.only fools and horses,again,, and heart beat,,who knew,,likes to spot the old cars seemingly,,my eyes glazed over.Michael and Ali arrived,,,night routine began,Colin had not been too comfortable today,,but that is to be expected at times,,so when ali came through and said his cushion had collapsed i too collapsed inside.As a spinal patient your cushion is the most importatnt thing in your life,,literaly,,colins is made up of pockets of air and they had deflated,leaving his skin compromised..panic ensued.Parts where red,noooooo...but not broken,,,,yesssssss...we may have gotten away with it,,we will not know till the morning,Most pressingly was the problem with the chair.Pump was found,,but where was the repair kit,,repair kit,,yes the small bag with some plaster sort of things,,very high tech,,vaguely remember them as something i did not recognise when sorting colins equipment,,hmm remember what is this ,,hmm no idea,,and flinging it on bucket pile.So where am i on a sunday night,watching that elusive chic flik,,no my friend i am in the bucket,,rummaging through last nights tea,,old tea bags,marks and spencers of course,,and worse,,no even in your wildest imagination you could not know.This was not the waltons,more like a scene from slumdog millionaire,,colin all snug in bed,me going through the regurgatation of the weeks life.YES ITS HERE I FOUND IT,,now what,i laughed at colins further instructions,,run bath emerge cushion in and then look for bubbles.So in my house ,,bubble bath ,for me no longer means an hour lying in froth with the prospect of my back being scrubbed,,no,,it means up to my elbows in cold water hoding down a slab of black rubber waiting for it to fart....and so it did,,and hole was found and spotted and the call of MELISSA I CANT DO THIS,,,went up,,where is douglas when i need him,,my very good friends husband who is a whizz at these things,,no i dont want to be a modern woman,,i want to be scarlet in gone with the wind,,i want to be helpless and have the vapours and say things like,,, what me rhett,,and ,,,I must go home to Tara,,cos tomorrow is another day,,,,,And so it is,,i can now get an air filled thing to fart,,helpfull on the tour de france,,and stick sticky things over the hole,,ok so Melissa did it but I watched,,and tomorrow is another day and life goes on,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

hi to orange

hi orange you know who you are,,just to say colin has survived the first few days,,im not as good having grown a massive abssess on my gum,,,think i will have to dip into colins pain killers,,life is different,,and busy,,and the first weekend in ten months i have not battles my way down the M8,so life goes on and we will survive,x

be careful you may get what you wish for...........

Well the lord and master is definatly home,,my house now resembles a cross between emergency ward ten and boots,,,are we loving it,,well he is,,no lets be fair he is realy loving it,,im on my knees,,why did i have this image,,waltons induced,,that colin and i would sit on our terrace,,ramp that can be seen from space..some classic music wafting to our ears,,skylarks and nightingales joining in the melody,,home made scones and jam,earl grey tea,,colin reading times,me the tatler,,me in floaty white no from boden,,colin in ralph lauren,,oh for goodness sake someone slap me,,oh boy have i been hoodwinked,,this it will be better when he gets home,,lies all lies,,now lets clarify this,,i love colin being home,realy ;love it,,but reality means im knackered,,his masters breakfast is to be taken in bed,0730,cornflakes alpen,,cranberry juice,earl grey and lightly buttered toast,,medication,and then our district nurse,,followed by two of our four team,,the lovely michael and max,,young and chatty,,ali who is a hoot and the big boss sally who comes occasionaly to make sure all is working well,,as his lord and masters makes himeself beautiful,,i run around hoovering ,dusting,bleaching and the rest,,quick shower,,and thats me,,colin reapears,,wafting the days cologne as he orders an expresso and possibly a small biscuit,,,yes m"lord,,,all towels and bedding into wash,,i know towels can be used more than once,,but do you remember the persil advert of the 60;S,,,well no-one is holding my towels up to compare,,,my mums uses persil syndrome..please dont look at my bath towels up the stairs,,syndromes cant climb stairs...orders come,,switch on computer,,wheres that disc..have you seen,,blah blah blah,,,take first valium of day,,lunch is served me lord,,have aliitle snooze,,colin not me no im tidying from lunch,,organising tomorrows meds,,ah feel a little better now think ill read paper and perhaps a little coffee,,,poss ten minutes on terrace,,better do the daily poop run,,theres one over there im informed,,want to ram spade down his throat,supper,tidy,meds,,sit down,,watch a little television,,eastenders,corrie,,heck no,,top gear,news on four,,2 and a half men,,sort out supplies for the team,nine fifteen guys return,,i sort out clothes for tomorrow,,escape outside to walk purdie,,,i know i know but its my chore now and she is such a little sweetie..colin in bed,dogs walked tomorrow organised,,i slide into bed,,he wants to chat,,ok i can do this,,silence,,dreams of pillows and catering size cling film fill my head,,what oh yes,,night squad arriive for nightly turn,,i rise,,dont want to be known as the lazy git wife,,take purdy out,,normaly raining,,i must live in camelot,,,barbour hat on head,looks good with nightie,,,turn done back to bed,,sleep,up breakfast and so the day returns,,,is this my life,,where did the whitle linens go,,the makeup and cologne,,now its pinni,pumps and hair flipped on to top of head,,chic of course,,a new chapter,,would i change a thing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!

l made it,,Imade it,,,,

100 miles a day ,,10months,1week ,,minus week in mauritus and dubai,,and the very odd day,,i drove that M8,,,through snow and ice and fog and torrential rain and sun ,,not much sun may i say,,but there i was,,me and my little mini,,not always in the right lane not always in the right gear,,but on the right road.And barr catastrophes last night was the last time,,Colin should be home today,,dont know what time,,but today and that is it,,the nightmare is over,,or maybe just begun.If they ring and say Colin has a mark or infection or anything i cant do it i cant drive that M8 again,,well lets not exaggerate,,its not like me ,,but not for a while...Wooton bassett is on GMTV,,young boys coming home in wooden boxes,,it makes me sad,,at least im getting my boy home.I will run round with the hoover,,wash floors and do the marks and spencers run.Life will begin a new chapter,,its scary realy realy scary,,,but its life and we will live it,,,but last night as i pulled away fron the spinal unit i was crying,,tears of joy tears of fear,,who knows,,but i was leaving our bubble and our friends met and cried and laughed with for what felt like a life time,,our guys who gave Colin back his life,,a new life but a life and we are eternaly grateful,,too many to mention.So now a new chapter begins

puppy for sale

One hardly used puppy for sale,,from non smoking home,,full guarantee,,,sold as seen,,no refunds,,asking for credit will cause offence.....................
Im kidding honest,,,its just yes she has slept all night,,,,yes she is the most adorable thing ever,,but walking around the garden,,in pumps,,am i mad but not sure where hunter wellies were flung,,note hunter,im so posh,,,,anyway walking around in my wet pumps shouting ,,,out out,,dog whisperer trick,,or when i think of it was it how to get rid of rowdy teenagers,,any way move on,,,,wet up to my knees,,in most people would be there ankles but hey,,,with purdey my pup walking behind me obviosly thinking,,,wish this damn woman would hurray up and do a pee and i could go back to bed,,,,i swear,im sure i heard her,,and then me thinking darn this puppy she obviously doendnt need so back we both trot,,to we enter the house and she crouches down,,puppy not me and widdles,,,aaaaaaaaaaaaagh,,she is flung out and i go to deal with the mess to stand back in amazement as the offending patch is i swear the shape of a mans dangly bits,,,,now the dilemma is do i photograph it and send it into chat or take a break magazine,,you know like the people that send in the potatoes with the face of jesus on them,,or do i use that stuff,,wash it off,,,for puppy accidents,,miracle worker,,,with guarantee to work or half price offer for heavily weighted sacks for permananent answer to this problem,,,and then you see her little face coming up over the porch glass and think hmm one more chance and next time that sack will be ordered i promise..................

old family and new friends

Sometimes you just know if you like someone,,it just feels right,,well i felt like that today,,,a long long time ago my mothers brother married and stayed down south,,something in the city,,, and within the appropriate time produced 2 girls and then the long awaited heir,,,and i saw these cousins only a handful of times,,once when i was in my very early teens mum and i visited,,they lived in the commuter belt so london was but a jaunt away,,their father had a yacht and i remember going out in the weekend,,the week was spent in london,,mum and i doing the sights and shopping and carnabay street,a magical week and the last time i remember being with those cousins,,of course there were the family phone calls between brother and sister and visits to uncle from mother in the algarve,,where my uncle took early retirement but no contact with the cousins,,untill today.jen and jude,so many years but there was a connection,,i just knew them,,i knew if we had lived in the same city we would have been friends ,,good friends,,dont ask me why but i just know,,it must be in the genes,,we are all different but all the same,,we all have a bit of nana and grandad hider so maybe they meant it to be,,and i for one would like to stay in contact,,we need all the friends and family we can have,,