ps

thank you to melissa and louise that visited their dad this weekend,,they make me smile and keep colin and I from running away,,well me pushing colin at a high speed,,they make life all well worth it,,so we will continue to spend those minutes and hours and eventualy the mitchell clan will be home,,shelley,who is having a ball in the usa,,and colin and his girls,,and the sun will shine and well we will be HOME,xxxx

15 days and counting,,

First of all i want to say thanks to all my chums who have been so fab in the ,,no blog drama,,and kim ILOVE YOU,,you make me laugh,,anyway we are now on countdown,,fifteen days,,we just have to keep colon well enough to get him home so i can kill him,,,ok he survived the last time,,but he was lucky,,i took my time with the medication,,but i have a very short attention span,,i get bored easily,,but every day for ever,,well i can only try,,,well another weekend has passed,,and god are they boring,,i know i am the centre of colins universe but realy he must be so bored of sitting in that strange pink hall,,looking at each other,,its surreal.realy you want to start throwing food,,or at least something around the hall just to have some fun,,i watch eastender and coronation street and in the jail when they visit tracy gail ect,,well it looks fun,,ok not disney world fun but not this monotinous pinky hall,,waiting till something or someone does something interesting,,no we need colin home so i can bore him to death in our tastefuly painted drawing room,im at the end of my tether with these visiting hours,,,hes colin for god sake,,not a convict,,so there i am another weekend past ,,2 more weekends,,15 more days we can do this,,and then earl grey,homemade cake ,homemade lemonade on the terrace,,white company linen onthe table,,emma bridgewater china,,colin in his panama me in my floaty tea dress,,weekends ala mitchells,,and the pinky hall will be a distant ,memory

medical update

This is quite shocking,,colin has told me for ages he needs new glasses,he cant focus out his right eye,,thought he might have injured it in the accident,so in optical express tests were done,,Oh my god,,they had left a contact lens in his right eye.Nine months this soft sports contact lens has been sitting in colins eye.And i had asked them,,my girls had asked them and all that were asked assured us the lenses had been removed.But there it is in position,nine months later,,i only thought to ask as this so could have happened to stacey,my chums girl,who had a riding accident,,72 hours they were left in but thank goodness shirley had the presence of mind to stop them removing them before they caused damage,SO it was a question we asked many times.Eye surgeons have now been called in to see how they can remove this lens safetly,please let it be done soon

paradise at last

Squeezed back into another black cab,,home supper wimbeldon ,careres bed,,,sighed heavily,,please god dont let me have to smother him,,chat ,laugh a small tear,,silence,,jesus,,not one demand,,i slept he slept,,carers arrived for turn at midnight,,i got up left them to it sat on stair,,30 min,two chatters,lights on ..Jesus he slept right through it and i sat on the stairs,,back in,,, 730..not a word ,,not a demand,,pillow and cling film can be stored till the next time,,he is safe,Yes im moaning but i LOVED every moment of it,,the gyle was fun,,colin corrine and i had a chat and a giggle,,even thought we might go out on this double date again,,supper was fun again,,well at least supper involved food,,children relaxed watching tv,,we were home,,Friday was ambulance day,,we sat on our terrace,,posh ramp,,in the sunshine with our tea after carers left,,relaxed,,at home,,in love,,yes how sloppy but a couple,,you know what i mean,,,and all to soon the ambulance arrived and colin headed west but we are nearly there,,nearly home for good,

expresso,,,yes please

Thursday morning dawned,,coffe and breakfast in bed,,and that was just for colin,,carers came,,i showered,,people arrived,,papa,flying visit,,3 people to look at enviromental control,,oh my god they are going to give him some sort of machine so he can demand,even if im upstairs,i hoped it was battery operated,,and they can be easly removed.Social workers,,is this realy a nightmare,,wake up wake up,,no its true..lunch given meds oh god they will have to be give 40 min early,,willl that kill him,,i didnt mean it honest,,its a crime of passion,taxi called.Have you ever tried to fit a ery large wheelchair in a black cab,,not easy but can be done eventualy,,easier if you cut off colins head and feet,,but that didnt seem to be an option,,Arrived gyle,,colins living nightmare,,haha,,and bestest chum Corrine there as my wing man,,,but appointments made,,optical express,,more of that later,hair cut,,romanian orphan type,i must admit it was cute but maybe not with the same je ne sais quq as my effort,,and most importantly a date with a cup of expresso in starbucks...all acjieved in a very busy gyle,,school holidays,,,

cling film or pillow,,,,,

So he was home,,his birthday,,louise and melissa colin and I,,where was shelley you ask,,where indeed,,well she has jumped a flight and headed back to baltimore,,for eight weeks,,thats my girl,,,but shes young and i want her life,but i cant so i live through her life and adventures and dream.Fillet steak and cake went down well and a small glass of red wine,Medicine were dispatched,,not my strong point,counting that is,,but my sister in law Elaine assures me the local chemist can do all this for me,,our local chemist is more used to dispensing methodone so maybe shes right,All was going well,,the carers turned up,,on time and realy very nice,,all was going to well,,he was organised and bedded and Itoo exhausted from all the excitment retired ,so there we were two people lying in single bed chatting in the dark,,very bizarre,,then there was silence,we had gone to sleep,,what felt like minutes later there i was,,charlotte can you stretch my legs,,charlotte can you get me some water,,im too hot,,its too quiet,,eh,,and so it went,,agh..1230 am the girls arrived to turn,,and went and on the demands went,,I cant do this i thought,,this will be a nightmare,,i will suffocate him,,im not good with sleep deprivation,,I know i like to wander in the middle of the night,,but its on my terms,,this was an awake nightmare there i was lying in the dark thinking if you ask me to do something else i will kill you,,,but the silence haunted me and peace reigned and thoughts of murder were put on hold.

hi im back

I realy appreciate my friends,,i have been amazed at the number of people that have been in touch wondering if all is well as i have not been blogging in the last while,,all is well,,please believe me,,nothing sinister,,to tell you the truth a colleaugue ,made a few comments on the blog,,she couldnt believe that i would write or people would still read it,,she felt i was being self obsessed,,and sometimes when your down,comments hit hard.So i gave you all a break and was delighted when so many said ,no,come back,,so here i am.So much has happened,,my louise was indeed operated on in the early hours relieving her of the dreadful pain she was in.So there we were colin in glasgow and Louise in edinburgh,,,thankyou NHS,,what would we do without you.But with love and devotion of our lovely James louise was realeased to home,where she is now recovering. It was a scary moment,there i was in the same area that Colin was admitted to so many months before,,my legs were jiggly,,it was a bizzare moment,,the intense feelings of deja vu,but she was safe and James was there and so she was in great hands.Colin came home,,yes two days,,he arrived by ambulance,,admired the ramp and was wheeled in,,the nicities were out the way he was home,,a sack of medication arrived too,,oh my god,,it was like the first year exams for pharmacy,,not that i ever did it,,but i can imagine,,how many drugs can one man take,,