to paradise and back

Is there anyone anyone out there,,,its been a long time,,i didnt mean to it just happened that way,Louise No.1 child and i headed to mauritius for a sneaky week.A week of sun good food and sleep,and thats what we had,,to get there involved two 7 hour flights,,a long time i know but oh so worth it.Glasgow airport,and the first of many queues,,to those from the west i apoloigise but realy,ok i didnt actualy see a shell suit but i felt them,,it was a wiggly queue,,you know the type and there we were,,when the child in the opposite squiggle announced her head was itchy and her mother duly checked her hair and lice were found,,it was like being stood beside a group of monkeys as nits were sourced and squashed and the child was reduced to tears and louise and i backed further and further away from the impending jumping nits,,once through security we felt we were safe,,those little critters could not possibly find us now,,but oh no there they were in costa,,but this time the child hair was up and wet so i assume boots had lice potion,,,safe in the knowledge they were not in the opposite seats,,we were in emergency exits,,no children,,we boarded the plane.Ah peace,,it was going to be 7 hours of movies,,what ,,what is going on some born again hippy was in front of us in my private space doing yoga stretching and holding on to the emergency exit bar,,i fastened my seat belt,,ive seen those films when people are sucked out,,we sat in amazment,,he was definatly a knit your own yogurt greeny,,grey hair grey beard,,which probably now housed nits,,and there he was legs swinging ,,squats,,for god sake we had only taken off,,surely no time for dvt to have taken hold,,,he returned to his seat and the sweetest little boy,,about 2 escapes his seat belt ,,and god damn it there he was,,squatting legs swinging,,he obviously thought it was the in flight entertainment,,Louise just about passed out laughing,,you think things couldn't get worse,,well 5 hours in two spinster types came forward ,,flustered,,they had been sat beside the flight drunk,,who had decided to become amorous,,well the flight hostie intervened and he came lunging forward and went in the loo,,were not sure if she meant it but we are pretty sure the hostie locked him in,,some unknowing soul came along and helped him out,,,peace reigned,our second flight was realy quite boring in comparism,

So here we were in one of the nicest hotels i have stayed in,,infinity pools with only Louise and i,,heaven,,sunshine and food,,pancakes what more could a girl want,Hells teeth i stood on a sea urchin,,who put that there,,i hate the sea,,snorkling forget it,,hotel doctor,,the weirdest guy very sweet but im sure he doubled as a hotel cleaner in his spare time,,hmmm well anyway foot did not fall off and barr the obvious trauma i survived. A week passed quickly and all too soon we were packed and sitting in reception awaiting our taxi,,there seemed to be a lot of people milling about,,iceland. volcanoes,,oh well we were on our way home,,nothing to do with us,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,