The rest of the Week!!

Wednesday is the day when my brother Charlie drives me to the west. Aunty Helen came too. she is most social and great company and loves all the chat surrounding our visit.

Shelley was home from Aberdeen, not to see me (silly) but to have one of her famous nights out.

So the car was loaded up with goodies and we ventured forth, only to hit a massive jam. 1 1/2 hours delays, but Sat Nav came into its own as we manoeuvred around the city.

The mean streets was not an exaggeration. Car locks were flipped. This was not the Buchannan Gallery. Charlie number plate reads "HUN", short for Hunter, but as he explained, it also has football connections and not one that all Glaswegians would read favourably. Great! I had images of gang warfare. I wanted to shout out the windows "it is OK, we don't do football! We are a rugby family!!" but Charlie advised that it would be best not to.

As we cruised through the gheto it all seemed quite quiet. No shots were fired, and nit even a burnt out car in sight. I was quite disappointed really. I kept expecting some little gang to jump out of the shadows and start singing songs from west side story. Oh well, another illusion shattered. Not Even Taggart!

The southern was reached safely. Colin was mobile and we sat with Earl Grey and Cappuccinos, served with a delicious Victoria Sponge. Helen as usual was the highlight of the visit. Entertaining Colin and myself with stories and was soon chatting away to Jane and Richard. So as we were now surplus to requirement, Colin and I went and had some private time. All is well and the the gym and physio filled his day. But with the weekend on the horizon so I hope that there would be rugby on. Must check Tv LISTING!

We headed into the town to drop Shelley. With one eye looking out for Rab C Nesbitt, and with numerous warnings about the unscrupulous boys in Glasgow, (Trainspotting came to mind, but then I remembered that was Edinburgh, hmmm). We headed back east and left Shelley with warnings ringing in her ears!!

PS. Shelley seemed to survive her visit to the West. It did involve a trip to A and E, when her friends flat mate was dropped on her face, maybe in a re-enactment of the scene from dirty dancing, and split open her chin. She came home with some new purchases and has disappeared again to the land of Abdn. That's my girl!

More adventures of Coco and Toto...

The wind whispered through the trees, gossip and truth distorted by the darkness and loneliness of the forest. A jumble of letters had been discovered at the entrance to the ice cold depths of the frozen cave. Paranoia had filled the minds of those who see no good.
Toto and Coco were ensconced in the bubble that had now become their haven. All was good in their world.

Monday

The weekend has once again passed. A succession of visitors have kept Colin's spirits high. No mean feat as those two days are a long drawn out affair. 48 hours in limbo, no structure to the day, just meals and the normal rounds of drugs and routine. So it passes and Monday arrives. Hand therapy and gym fill Colin's day. His new physio, Katy is a blessing. Two and a 1/2 hours a day are filled with exercise and routines prepared to enhance Colin's broken body. His mind too benefiting from his regime. Tilt tables and machines resembling puppet theatre fill these precious hours. Party tricks are preformed and improvements, no matter how small are worked on.

Drugs and remedies are administered daily but it is the magic of the gym that will benefit Colin. Les has been in touch, Colin's friends and colleagues, from Gala will come this Tuesday. A welcome diversion from the insane twittering of myself informing Colin of the day to day dealings with Accountants, Social Work etc.

A weekend at work has clouded my mind with tiredness, the visits have become longer and longer, as I hate leaving Colin. He is up longer every day so I stay longer every day, taking every opportunity to recapture the loss months when he was bedridden. More time is spent discussing, "When he gets home", back to reality, back to our life. It is now 3.17 am and as I lay here, cup of tea, notebook and deafening silence, ( Well even rodents have to sleep!) I wonder if one day if Colin and I will even remember half of these awful events. I hope not, just the memories of people that have helped us through.

Good Night Sweetheart...

It was a very long day. After having cancelled having a lovely coffee with Donna, (tea and remedies shall have to wait till next time i am afraid) as I was not sure if I was going to make it to our hospital appointment on time.

The west beckoned earlier than usual today. A "goal planning meeting" was on today's agenda. I had heard whispers of them in the unit, but it was like tracking the holy grail. Held monthly, a member of all the professional teams (medical, physio, OT, social work.... etc.) attend. They discuss your progress. Set goals and generally discuss your life and make decisions that will effect long term. Colin and I were placed at the top of a conference table and reports were read and questions asked. Some go into these meetings with a whole pad of A4 covered in questions. We had none. But from nowhere, the professional Colin appeared.

He chaired the meeting. He took control. Some of his sentences I did not even understand. The other professionals in the room nodded agreement. There was no getting away from it. He was in control. I expected him at any moment to pull out the graph and slides that he has prepared! He brought the meeting to a close. I don't know who was more surprised, me or the hospital contingent? I'm not sure who was taking minutes but they better be correct as I am in no doubt that Colin will wish to revue them and amend.

He returned to rest. 51/2 hours in the chair, meeting etc. I left him and went to the day room to chat with Bev and Jane.

Jane's Richard is to be "released" on Friday. The holy grail has been captured, but it is really really scary. You leave the bubble and then what? Life that has been for months is left behind and you are pushed into the outside world. Richard will do fine. He is amazing. so positive, so young, so resilient. Jane will do the worrying for him, a "mothers lot". We will all miss them.

It has been decided that when the airlines no longer meed me that I should not fret, as I have found a new vocation. Hair dresser to the stars. Mover over Charlie Miller.

One of my "chores" was to buy hair clippers today. I hummed and hawed about just taking in the horse clippers. But I headed to Boots instead. I paid a ridiculous amount of money and headed west with my new purchase.

I decided to make Colin's hair "choppy". with a few layers to add to the texture. Jane and Bev sat agog as the clippers did their magic.

I personally feel it was in the mode of George Clooney and a very young version of Tom Cruise, in his top gun days.

Then why did I hear sniggers of "Romanian orphan"? Hmm? Note to self, hife all mirrors and swear to Colin this is the latest style, straight from the catwalks.

Lesley and Douglas came to visit. Long time friends, who have shared family holidays, family traumas and Mitchell disasters. But they still come back for more. Pony club camps, cruises and Corfu excursions, to name but a few.

The chat was good, Douglas as always brings a smile to our faces and Colin was relaxed and comfortable in the presence of an old friend.

It was late when they left, so Colin went back to the ward with me and sorted himself out for the long night ahead. Too much off a good thing. Is that the saying? Well I cannot remember all the details but I said something and he bit back. Lets say that I decided to retire for the evening without the normal niceties. No goodnight sweetheart. No see you in the morning. I headed home and was contemplating the new "man" in my life. Yes he would be there, I could always count on that. My mouse. Scratching out "I love you" in morse code from behind my fireplace.

Monday and Tuesday

WARNING- Some of the content of this post is not suitable for under 18s or people of a nervous disposition.

Monday

Shelley is now back at university. Louise ensconced in married bliss and working full time at Clifton hall (she is not sure how she ended up working full time, that wasn't on the plan?!) but hey ho.

Melissa has decided to fly off to New Zealand to visit an old chum for six weeks. The house will be very quiet, only me, Pheobe (the "dog") and the darned mouse.

I hate this time of year, Colin too. It was dark, cold and the nights were long and days with no rest from animals. In fact, more work as they horses were stabled at night, so work was doubled. But still Colin would not complain. I helped. Horses were brought in and started to be walked out in preparation to bring them up to Polo fitness. How many time did I see Colin ride and lead one, with the dogs dancing between their legs. Taking a chance when they danced under Pimms' feet. And off they would go off up the field, round the track and home.

Once polo fitness was reached they would all dance down he track knowing that Chukkas and warm weather could not be far away!

But this year it is different. Stables stand empty, kennels are bare too. No bridles in pieces on the sitting room floor, awaiting oil. No packages arriving and no chink on the Polo Time landing in the mat.

How many times did I e-mail Shirley. "These damn horses, Colin in south Africa, Egypt or some far flung country. I wish I didn't have these dogs to walk...." (sometimes at 330 in the morning, poor dogs) "I wish these ponies were somewhere else."

Oh how I whined. But as they say, be careful what you wish for, it might just come true.

********************not suitable for under 18s*************************

Tuesday

The new social scene of the day room takes us out of our bubble. I thought working in the airlines for around 30 years made me "street wise"

But obviously not. Colin's ward mates are now beginning to educate me in the finer points of personal care.

Look away now .....

I had no idea of the back, crack and sac. Favoured by male spinal patients. What is wrong with short back and sides?

The ward mate of Colin's whose career choice was to say less than reputable, was disgruntled with a, hmmm, client, offered him a free massage. Applying lotion and upon finishing her extras showed him to the shower, leaving the tube of immac on the side table.

The ward is filled with characters and everyone comes with their own stories. Those who survives three drive by shootings, to finally be left with three bullets lodged in his body and unable to walk. Those who have been "jumpers" that misjudged the height required.

Oh yes, my bubble had been burst. Maybe I was not as street wise as I once thought.

Weekends in the ward...

We have been lucky. Colin's skin has held and so the chair time has continues. 2 1/2 hours twice a day has been reached but its not all easy. Colin's stomach muscles have deteriorated and his back is therefore in a lot of pain due to the lack of support. But this is something Colin will have to deal with until time and patience brings its rewards.
He is now out of bed his bed for long spells. We wander around the unit and socialise with people in the day room. His ward mate Mike and his wife Bev also in limbo up and nowhere to go. So lots of time is taken in their company. Futures, children and house renovations are the first conversations, and although there are many sad stories, bringing people to this unit, it is remarkable the attitudes of the "inmates" (also referred to as "inpatients").
No self pity, or at least none I have ever seen. Just hope and expectation.Les once again visited on friday night. News of what is going on in Colin's other life, work. It wouldn't surprise me if one day next week if i walked into the ward to find Colin hooked up to a machine in the middle of a conference call!
His mind is in need of stimulation. I do try, tales of work and home, social workers and OTs. Oh yes I can witer on, but I am sure that his eyes glaze over. He used to say he lost me after two minutes if I was not interested in his chat! My eyes would glaze and a blank expression on my face.
What could be more interesting to him than the news that our bins have still not been emptied and our road resembles an ice rink? At any moment I expect to see Torvill and Dean and the entire cast of dancing on ice appear followed by our mouse and his newest skill on the list, figure skating! I am sure it is a battle of wits, but at the moment the mouse is winning.Just one question...are your eyes glazing over?

Tuesday and Wednesday!

20,000 Page views!! Thank you to all of those who read the blog on a regular basis!

New developments. OT/ social work and council returning. This is major news, it means that we are finally on the social work wheel and things will finally start to happen. We hope. Rooms will be located, walls boarded up and the house will take on yet another era in the Mitchell house.

Tues/Wed

An empty bedsite on arrival at the southern. That could only mean one thing, Colin was confined to bed once more. I spoke to Lee, the nurse and was told that at skin check this morning Colin was showing a red spot. Ironically, not on the originally site. It was not broken, but early indications were there. This now mean a possible few days in bed. I was not upset, it had been something I had expected. Colin's skin is vulnerable. I knew that if his bed was not in the ward, then he was in the gym. Sure enough, that is where I found him.

His spirits were high, as long as his gym time was not compromised, he could cope with the lack of chair time.

We had "outside" visitors toda. I say we, I of course mean Colin, but I always enjoy new chat. Jamie Douglas and Jonathan Tidswell. Colin was glad to see them, with their news from the outside world. Ponies, work and normality.

The time passed quickly and after they left, the normal routine continued. I hoped that the skin blip was just temporary and that "chair" time would commence soon, but as Colin and I have to learn, you cannot push things, or you go back to square one.

I do not find this easy, but as usual Colin accepts this with good grace.

The weekend again!

I was working, so my girls all headed West. Lunch and newspaper in tow. They massaged and manipulated fingers and toes. They were very pleased to see that his left hand was making definite progress and showing signs of improvement. Fingers and wrists moving. This caused great excitement. One of the other patients said that the girls looked like Colin's "Harem". They laughed and chatted and were there for his every whim. He didn't even have to speak, just listen to their chatter.Colin enjoys these visits.
His sister, Doreen also visited. She arrived from Nottingham, battling her way through the snow. The girls left them to discuss family business and all of Doreen's family news. Colin enjoyed this as well.
His bed sore has improved and Colin was mobilised. For a few minutes a day. My girls were there and it definitely was the highlight of the day.

Sunday
I drove west, lunch in basket. I was full of trepidation. News of Colin's mobilisation weighing heavily on my mind. I know this is what we have been working towards forever, but it is sometimes a hard lesson.
Some find it brings reality home. A very new experience and in some minds a sense of the end of parts of their "real life".
Also Colin's skin might deteriorate again and we could be back to square one. Yes many thoughts filtered through my mind on the M8.
Arrived in time to be there for the skin check. All seemed well. Colin was to be hoisted into his chair. A very precarious looking thing but one to become part of his daily routine.
Colin was up. His hair is so long, hard to tell when he is in but, but very bike "chic". As is Colin's way. He seems to be coping with this transition well. We "escaped" the ward and did circuit after circuit of the unit. Stopping to see old friends in the high dependency unit. They are always pleased to see the further development of their "old boys". We ventured outdoors. He filled his lungs to capacity with cold sharp air. 17 weeks of fresh air was taken in. We went to the day room and spoke to Mike and family, and then his 30 minutes were up. Bed rest had to be taken.
Judith, a great chum from Polo arrived. She was full of tales of friends and ponies. Things we had all done and seen in the season. It was a joy to have her visit, to have her visit. Colin adores her and the time passed like seconds not hours. She made us laugh. We gossiped and almost felt normal again. The goings on in the ward became just a distant world and it was just the tonic that Colin needed. She left promising to come again.
Back to reality and another chair time began. Saturday and Sunday are long days so visits are precious.
But tomorrow is Monday and and the gym time and physio starts again. Colin's day will be full. The M8 beckoned and the "West wing" was started again.

New and Old Friends (Tuesday)

Marvellous day. Arrived in the west to find Colin's bed space empty. Bed gone? Slight panic. So I looked for a nurse. Colin was in the Gym, bed and all. So I ventured to the rehab gym, a completely new experience. An alien place to me, and I mean Alien. Work outs are not in my vocabulary.

There he was, still bed bound, but happy as Larry. With John, the head physio at his side, he was attached to a machine, smile all over his face. I knew that Colin would benefit greatly from exercise, but the endorphins had obviously kicked in and his work out ethic had surfaces. John was gushing. Colin was performing well and there were movements that John had not expected. Before we all get too excited, marathons were not mentioned, but his performance was “good and good can be worked on”. No matter what Colin needed, that gym and two hours of exercise put a big smile on his face and that to me was priceless.

His new ward is great, but scary. Great because his bed is beside Mike. Mike has the same level injury as Colin. He is up in his chair, no bed sore, so not as hindered. A great guy, teacher from Dalkeith. So between him and his wife Bev there is much chat. It keeps both Colin and I going. Also Richard, our young diver friend and his marvellous Mum Jane are back from a Christmas break and he is in the bed opposite. They bring youth and life and laughter.

Yes this new phase of Rehab is scary but Colin’s adjacent bed fellows are just the right medicine. Bev and Jane have already been my crutch in the last few months but Colin had never met them. He was in his “bubble” of high dependency and knew nothing of the network in the day room. But it is the people who keep you going. Thank goodness, as it would be a longer journey alone.

Work

I also had a good day. I reconnected with a good friend. Someone I have seen every working day for ages, but our friendship had waned of late. Louise McColl, my boss. You should never mix business with pleasure, how those “old wives” chose their words well. Suffice to say we have had our moments. Anyone that knows me understands that I don’t do authority.

But a chat brought all the emotions to the surface yesterday and our core friendship was well and truly surfaced.The same two people were there below the “hat” and the badges and it evoked memories. I hadn’t thought of it for ages. The young think they invented all the funny and adventurous. I have not yet seen “the hangover” but from what I gleam, it’s about a lost weekend in Vegas.

Well, Louise and I had this years before the Hollywood blockbuster.

“Lets go to Chicago” one of us muttered a few years back as we lounged about one shift. “great idea!”. So off Louise and I went, leaving the long suffering husbands, Colin and Jim agog. We filled the fridge with food and said “bye we are off to Chicago tomorrow!”

There we were, standing in Chicago O’hare, two camel coat clad, “nearly” middle aged women, carrying REAL Louis Vuitton hand bags with no hotel reservations.

We looked out the terminal window, it was raining, and we do not do rain. We looked at each other, smiled and said “Lets go to Vegas!”

Now, “what happens on tour stays on tour”, so I will just run a few phrases past you. Polo lounge. Belagio, who knew it had fountains? ‘Mud things’, bar tenders who don’t explain alcohol contents, and I don’t drink. I am sure that there was a news flash about two camel coated females dragging their suitcases through vegas on route to the pyramids, not a scene usually displayed in this city. Credit cards maxed out as the airline that we were to fly with went bust the day we were meant to fly back, but hey, what the hell, your only young once!

The Rehab weekend...and the mouse.

Ok, so there is no point in making useless resolutions. I am never going to be as skinny as Victoria Beckham; as chic as Audrey Hepburn, or as clever as....well you get the point! Some things are just not meant to be. But hey, there are something I CAN do.

This year is a new start.

Eventually Colin will be mobilised. So I have meetings to attend, occupational therapists and builders to deal with. Yes, this is going to be a busy year. Colin has once again, after the last false start, been moved to Phillipshill Rehab Unit. Rehab is imminent. His wound is 99.9% clear. We are nearly there. I am not so terrified of the ward this time. Colin is stronger, more capable and can fight his corner. He is determined. The ventilator is forgotten, the trachi dismissed, and his hand sized pressure sore is nearly gone.

He will be mobile soon, then the gym will be tackled. He has goals. The hospital will set hurdles.

Eventually Colin will be allowed home for 24 hours. 24 terrifying hours.

Between the carers and the district nurses, new equipment and strange routines, these hours will feel like seconds.

He will get stronger. New regimes will be put in place, adjustments made to the house will all be (started, then) completed.He will push himself in the gym, and eventually the big day will come when Colin can come home.

We will bicker when I take over the driving. I will never be in the correct lane or the right gear. But we will be out. We will go to the polo matches. We will see friends and learn to enjoy his new life.

So if Colin can fight his war and win, maybe I will be as skinny as Victoria Beckham, or a chic as Audrey Hepburn, or as...well, one can only dream.

135AM

"I saw a mouse!-Where?-There on the stair!-Where on the stair?-Right there!-A little mouse with clogs on
Well I declare!-!"

No I bloody DON'T. I have a little mouse that this that he is hysterical. He thinks it is very funny to come out and party behind my chimney in my bedroom. I can hear it laughing at me- ok not laughing but scuttling about. Wait- maybe it's Shelley's hamster from her childhood. Chalky I believe was her name.We were not very nice to it. Well not after it bit us. Yes of course we gave it food and water and cleaned the little critter out, but lets just say its demise was not mourned.

Has it come back to haunt me? Is that scuttle really the creaking of the wheel going round and round and round?

Sleep deprivation does things to your mind. But I sweat that little critter is in the wall having a party. It should be slapped with an ASBO.

I understand those cartoon characters now. When the cat would take an "elephant gun" and blast a wall to smithereens looking for that darn mouse. So I will get up, make a cup of tea an ignore it.

"I saw a mouse!-Where?-There on the stair!-Where on the stair?-Right there!-A little mouse with clogs on
Well I declare!-!"

2009

This week in a Christmas card I received a round robin letter from a great chum. I loved reading about her families year, so positive, so many things to be thankful for. I have never written one, probably because the cards I send go to people I talk to on a daily basis, but it made me think what I would say this year.

Dear Friends,

This has been a very strange year for our family. Exactly one year ago today we returned from Barbados where Louise, our beautiful first born daughter was married. James is a lovely boy and his family, the Eastons, well lets say apart from being Louise's "in-laws", have become the Mitchell's very good friends. We are very grateful that Louise has been lucky enough to marry into such a lovely family. She is doing well and is very much involved in her new job at Clifton Hall School.

Melissa, our second beautiful daughter, graduated with honours from Aberdeen. Taking the time now to find a job and is helping me to run the house. I could not have done it without her help in the last few months. She is still seeing her lovely Paul and I hope that she finds the right school to work in.

Shelley, our third beautiful daughter, after a shaky start in Aberdeen, she decided that after 1st year of dietetics, it was not for her. She has now moved over to a BEd at Aberdeen. Well to think that I will have three girls in the education sustem, and I am sure that it is nothing to do with the extra long holidays.

My parents are both well. Dad, having had some problems with health over the years but now all is resolved, so we are all thankful for that.

Colin's family have also had a few health problems this year. Mrs M had not been great but we hope things will settle soon.

We lost a dear friend and family member, Uncle Buck, he is sorely missed and I think of him daily.

Also a few months back, the last day of the polo season, Colin had a traumatic accident. He suffered and injury to his neck, but things are looking better and I am sure with help from the Southern General he will be home soon.

Unfortunately we lost two precious family animals in 2009. Pimms, one of our polo ponies and Jasper our beautiful German Pointer. This has been a sad year for our animal friends.

All in all 2009 has not been the best of years, but we have much to be grateful for. I hope to write next year with more positive news from the Mitchell Clan. But for now, we send you all our love and best wishes, and lets hope 2010 brings more happiness to us all.

Colin, Charlotte and the family xxx